Rationalizing Bad Behavior Away

Warning: This is a graphic post about the Penn State child abuse scandal.  May not be appropriate for the office.

I’ve been following the Penn State/Jerry Sandusky story really closely for the past two weeks. I’m completely shocked by how the entire story has played out.  Each day, it gets worse.  The entire episode is a complete disgrace.  If you haven’t been following, check out the NY Times coverage.

According to the grand jury indictements, Sandusky was a popular Penn State Defensive Coordinator who raped boys as young as 10.  Another Penn State assistant saw him in the act, stopped the act somehow, then reported it to his father, the university president, the athletic director, the head coach and a few others.  Sandusky “retired” to work on his charity for young boys, called The Second Mile, which he used as a platform to meet and victimize young boys.

News reports claim that multiple people knew or heard about Sandusky’s proclivities, but didn’t do anything to stop him.  The entire episode is a complete disgrace and make me physically sick to my stomach.  After having some time to reflect, I’m very interested in how each person, who could have potentially stepped in and stopped this monster, rationalized their inaction.  Or even worse, in some cases rationalized their actions to coverup these rapes.

Humans have an amazing ability to rationalize away bad behavior.  Sometimes its their own bad behavior, sometimes its the bad behavior of others.  They think “everyone’s doing it, it wasn’t THAT bad, maybe we misunderstood, oh he wont do it again, if i just keep my head down, it will blow over” or in other cases “how will the affect me, what will others think?”  It’s the same phenomenon that allows massive corporate fraud, domestic abuse and the Sandusky case.  It’s the same phenomenon that caused the Catholic Church to cover up rampant sex abuse by priests.  Taken to the extreme, its the same phenomonen that allows genocide and the Holocaust to happen.

Let’s look at the timeline.  A Penn State assistant coach, McQueary, walks into the shower and sees a 55 year old man raping a 10 year old boy.  He claims he made sure it stopped, then called his father.  His father told him to report the incident to his boss, Penn State Coach Joe Paterno.  The assistant claims he told Paterno in no uncertain terms what he saw.  Here’s how the story got watered down as it moved through the chain of command:

  • Assistant Coach McQueary: Eye witness report of anal rape of a 10 year old in a University shower
  • Head Coach Joe Paterno: something of a sexual nature.
  • Penn State Senior VP of Finance Schultz: inappropriately grabbing of the young boy’s genitals.
  • Athletic Director Curley: inappropriate conduct or horsing around.
  • University President Spanier: conduct that made someone uncomfortable.
  • Second Mile President Raykovitz: a ban on bringing kids to the locker room.

Everyone in this case did the wrong thing.  They rationalized the behavior away, or just flat out covered it up.  McQuery did his legal duty by reporting the rape to his superiors, but not his moral duty, which would be the call the police immediately and keep contacting the authorities until something was done.  Two years earlier, multiple Janitors saw Sandusky “performing oral sex on a young boy” but did nothing to stop it, nor reported it to police.

Paterno and the university officials rationalized the conduct, either because they didn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it or wanted to protect their institution.  All the while, more kids continued to be raped.  The university, other coaches, Penn State players and people in the community heard rumors, but never did anything to follow up.  It was always someone else’s problem or it was rationalized away.

I truly believe that when the full story comes out, it’s going to be worse than anything we could imagine.  I think that people who knew about Sandusky’s “proclivities” will number in the 100s.  Yet nothing happened until ten years later, when Sandusky assaulted another young boy, who told his mother, who immediately called the police, sparking the current investigation.

So many people could have put an end to Sandusky’s pedophelia, but “didn’t want to rock the boat” or thought “it wasn’t that bad” or wanted to “protect themselves or their school.”  I truly hope that this horrible situation pushes more people to act when they witness criminal behavior.  These excuses should go out the window.  Do the right thing.  Anything less is morally reprehensible.  Remember, all it takes is one person doing the right thing and a horrible situation like this comes to an end much earlier.

My Entrepreneurial Journey

Note: I wrote this post back in May 2010 for a guest post on a large tech blog, but it never got used.  I found it today while going through my inbox and decided it was too good to not post.  This is my entrepreneurial journey from 2004 until May 2010.

As I made my way from Milwaukee, WI to Madison, WI for my freshman year of college in fall 2004, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  I’d know for awhile that I liked working for myself: I’d been a soccer referee since I was 12, which allowed me to make my own hours and make more money than any 12 year old should be able to earn.  I’d been fairly bored with high school because we learned boring theories instead of practical ideas that would help me later in life.  My biggest take away from high school was “more practice, less theory.”

All of these thoughts took a backseat in my 18 year old mind when I received a letter from the University of Wisconsin notifying me that I’d lost the student football ticket lottery.  I was devastated.

After moving in, I’d been thinking about how to find tickets, but I didn’t have to look very far.  One of my friends invited me to a party my first night at college.  I was about ready to call it a night and walk home when I heard a guy screaming into his cell phone.  He hung up and was so mad that he slammed his phone on the ground, breaking it.  He got even angrier because he said he didn’t have the money to get a new cell phone.

Something in my brain just clicked and I said, “hey, do you have football tickets?”  He looked at me really strangely, but said he did.  I responded, “well I don’t have them, but I’d buy you a new phone for your tickets.”  I wasn’t really expecting anything, other than maybe some choice words, but to my surprise, he got excited.   The next day, I tracked the broken cell phone guy down via a friend in the frat, bought him the money for the phone and made the exchange.

I was pretty excited.  It only took me one night to get my football tickets.  All was right in the world.  I told my story to some of my new friends and quickly realized that there were a ton of kids who were in my same predicament.  I agreed to help them find tickets.  It pays to be in the right place at the right time.

Enter Exchangehut.  I first remember seeing flyers and spray paint stencils for the site a week into my freshman year.  I checked it out, signed up and was user number 1117.  Exchangehut was a ticket exchange that worked like the stock market.  Buyers could input a bid price and sellers could put in an ask price, creating the market.  When the prices matched up, a sale happened and both parties were contacted.  I used the site to help 4-5 friends buy tickets and quickly saw how useful the site was.

As the year went on, I became one of the more active users, I realized that the site had limitations and thought about creating a competitor.  I wrote up a simple business plan, but got discouraged because I was having trouble finding a programmer to write the new site.  I put the project on the back burner and went on with my summer.

I was in the right place at the right time again a month later.  The owner of Exchangehut was selling the site via an auction because he was graduating.  I quickly shot an email back, did my research and put in a bid.  I excitedly talked with my friends about how I was buying a business and to my surprise, one of my best friends from high school said he was too.  I said “what business” and we both said “exchangehut” at the same time.  He was a computer engineering major and we decided to merge our bids.  A month later, we were the proud owners of a 2000 person tickets and textbooks website at age 19.

We ran the site until 2008, growing the site to 150k users across 8 college campuses.  We learned a ton and needless to say, I was hooked.  I loved coming up with ideas for the site, promoting the brand and working my own hours.  I was making more money each week working on average 8 hours per week than my roommates were making bartending and waiting tables full time.  I loved the freedom that came with being able to work from anywhere.  I got to travel places and meet interesting, creative people.  I enjoyed meeting people who though “how can we fix a problem” not “why can’t we.” We sold the business to our ad network in summer 2008, but I knew I was going to start a new business.  This isn’t to say it was easy.  We put in long hours, answered angry customer emails and calls and continued to go to class.

Like many entrepreneurs I know, I keep a business idea list.  I had over 200 ideas on my list and after selling, worked on cutting them down to 10 that I thought were promising and would be fun to work on.  All that stopped when three professors I had gotten to know independently told me that I had to meet a student named Jesse Davis.  At the same time, two of my friends said that Jesse was working on something cool and needed a partner.

I met Jesse in one of the libraries on campus and he pitched me his idea.  Jesse’s pitch went something like this:

“I just read Thomas Friedman’s The World is Flat and couldn’t get through it when I got to US Marine Justin Ellsworth’s story.  He was killed in action in Iraq and his family wanted access to his Yahoo! email account.  Yahoo said no.

After a long court battle, a judge ordered Yahoo! to turn over the contents of his email accounts to his parents.   It shouldn’t take months to gain access to a deceased person’s email account.  Also, what if I don’t want my parents looking into my Facebook account or other sites I might have? Friedman ends the passage by saying “someone sort this out.”  Let’s create a system for people to store their last wishes for their digital assets, which are any online account or file on their computer, and let’s allow them to input their passwords so that their survivors have access.

I immediately thought back to ExchangeHut.  In 2005, we hired a programmer to help us make improvements with the site and at one point, I realized that our programmer has all of the usernames and passwords to the server, database, credit card processing, affiliate programs and everything else that was necessary to run the site.   Like programmers like to do, he used a random password generator, so there would be no way we’d be able to guess his passwords if he were to get hit by the proverbial bus.  We ended up having our programmer write down every password on a piece of paper and I stored it in our safe deposit box, just in case.  Jesse’s idea would have solved this problem.

I was looking for a project, Jesse was looking for a cofounder with some experience and we hit it off.  Two months later, we founded Entrustet.

I was sold on Entrustet because we had a chance to create a solution a real life problem.  The death of a loved one is an incredibly stressful time and we thought we could help give people peace of mind that their digital assets would be dealt with according to their wishes, and that survivors wouldn’t have the burden of having to guess what the deceased person wanted done with their online accounts.

We’ve been working on Entrustet since November of 2008 and launched in March 2010.  In our first year, we spent under $20k starting the business.  We were able to spend so little because we hustled and were located in Madison.  We’ve stayed in Madison, even though we’ve had opportunities to move to Silicon Valley, New York, Boston or Austin.  Being located in the Midwest has given us some advantages that are often overlooked by people on the coasts.

It’s incredibly cheap to live and work in Madison.  Our office is located across the street from the state capital and we pay $200 per month.  I pay $400 per month to live in a nice apartment four blocks from the office.  On the coasts, we’d have had to pay 5-10x more.  While the talent pool is not as deep, we’ve found talented employees who cost a fraction of what they would on the coasts.

Madison is small enough that we’re able to get in contact with anyone we want to relatively easily and Madison has groups like MERLIN Mentors that help new startups by pairing founders with successful entrepreneurs who server as in informal board of advisers. Everyone in our company walks to work and we’ve become active in the startup community by starting Capital Entrepreneurs, a founders group with over 60 tech companies in the Madison area.

I’m a huge believer is pursing your passion and starting starups has allowed me to pursue mine.

Apparently My Entrepreneurial Roots Go Back a Few Generations

Schumacher Furs 1923, Click to enlarge

My Mom has been looking into our family history over the past year or two and sent me this advertisement from a newspaper in Cedarburg, WI from 1923.  The ad on the right hand side is for my great-grandmother’s fur store, advertising the best furs in the Milwaukee area.  Her brother, my great-uncle, set up trading posts in Alaska to cut out the middle man in the fur trade.  He then shipped his furs back to St. Louis, where he chose some of the best ones for his sister’s, my great grandmother’s, shop.

She shared the other half of the building with her husband, my great grandfather, who ran a painting and decorating business.  As my Mom put it “double entrepreneurs in the same shop!”  Maybe some of my entrepreneurial talents got passed down the generations?  Either way, I think it’s cool to learn about some family history.

An Ode to Jenny

Jenny was an awesome dog.  She loved people, the beach, growling at chipmunks, playing with stuffed animals and eating any type of food she could beg, borrow or steal.  We brought her home in 2004 from the Humane Society when she was about 3 years old and she immediately won us over with her friendly disposition:  as soon as she met people, she was their best friend.  If you stopped petting her, she’d push you with her head to get you to star again.

She loved to play fetch with her duck stuffed animal and then sit right next to you after she got tired.  She loved people and was always there to be the perfect companion.  Whenever I would change rooms when were were home together, she’d follow.  She was always there to greet me at the door whenever I came home, especially after I came home from Chile after being away for six months.  She went absolutely crazy and couldn’t stop jumping around for what seemed like forever.

She stole food with reckless abandon. No amount of disciplin could stop her.  We always had to make sure bread, meat, fruit, anything edible or potentially edible, was high enough up so that she couldn’t find a way to reach it when we went out.  One time, we were defrosting a huge tbone steak in the sink and we left the house.  When we got back, no steak, no paper, nothing.  Jenny got it.  When we took her to the vet for an xray, she’d eaten the entire frozen steak, bone, paper and all.

Her favorites were honey baked ham, chex and chicken.  She literally couldn’t concentrate on anything else if there was ham around until she got some.  She’d catch 100% of the food I’d toss in the air, sometimes jumping with all four paws off the ground.

She loved long walks, going swimming and being in the water.  Sometimes she’d swim out toward us to make sure we were ok.  She’d chase ducks until the ducks decided to fly away and hunt for frogs by the shoreline, but never got one.  She was a happy, fun loving dog who was in her element outside.

Last week, she was playing with my parents in Northern Wisconsin, having the time of her life.  On friday, she was breathing heavily, and our vet Marcy (our next door neighbor for all of my life, and the biggest reason our family ever had a dog in the first place) said everything seemed fine.  On Monday she stopped eating.  On Tuesday, xrays showed she had late stage lung cancer and today she went downstairs and died.  It happened so fast, nobody could believe it.  Even Marcy couldn’t believe how quickly things went.  Everyone commented how healthy she looked and less than a week ago, everything was completely normal, but in reality nothing could be done.  She didn’t suffer much at the end and had an amazing life right up until the very end.

Jenny was everything you could ask for in a dog.  I’m glad I got to know her so well.